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Therapy Sessions - JLA Watchtower RPG
Therapy Sessions
(Takes place before the scene in Philadelphia and after the Smallville plot.)

She's always been a mystery, even after almost single-handedly forming or reforming a team known for its openness. There's history. She's seen perhaps the worst and best this woman has to offer - but Donna Troy still somehow suspects she really hasn't seen the best or the worst yet from Raven. She can only pray for the worst to be in the past and to have the future be brighter for her seemingly hounded friend.

It was Raven that came to her after Despero's attack on her mind, not the other way around. She must have sensed the damage to the pleasure centers of her mind. As an empath, how could she not? And why is it that Raven seems to know when she's reaching the end of something and the beginning of something else more clearly then any of them - even Lily? Furthermore, why has she been so isolated only to emerge to defeat Dark Angel, and then now to heal her ability to feel pleasure, when Raven denies or has it taken from her every meager chance she gets?

She's here for her own therapy, but somehow, she wishes it could be Raven's as well.

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blackest_bird From: blackest_bird Date: April 24th, 2007 03:04 am (UTC) (Link)
She's waiting, quietly and patiently. She never seems to be relaxing, ever...always standing or sitting in lotus, especially these days.

Eyes hidden by the shadow of her cowl watch Donna approach, unsurprised. But then with Raven, she might have sensed her coming.

middle_amazon From: middle_amazon Date: April 24th, 2007 03:24 am (UTC) (Link)
Most people use lotus position for relaxation. Donna knows her friend can use it for battle just as easily.

"Hi..." After almost a decade, there still isn't a way to figure out how to "small talk," with Raven. Still..."It's good seeing you."

Because the alternative - when Raven isn't Raven - it's not good.

"What will work best for you here?"
blackest_bird From: blackest_bird Date: April 24th, 2007 03:33 am (UTC) (Link)
It's almost eerie how she doesn't seem to move, just staring. People how know her well know that it's a cover, a mask...something to keep people away.

"Whatever you prefer. Your comfort is primary."
middle_amazon From: middle_amazon Date: April 24th, 2007 03:41 am (UTC) (Link)
She knows.

It's hard to trust someone - to let them in - when they so rarely leave a way for someone else to get in and open them up a little. Wally was the best at it. Kory was too, when she allowed herself just a bit of patience. Donna? She tries, but she has no idea.

Trust she will, however, always.

"Here on the floor works." There's a beat. "I like the wall hangings and the pictures. did I give you those or did you get them somewhere else?"
blackest_bird From: blackest_bird Date: April 24th, 2007 03:46 am (UTC) (Link)
The cowl turns a bit towards one of the tapestries, then she lowers herself smoothly to the floor.

"Yes and yes."
middle_amazon From: middle_amazon Date: April 25th, 2007 01:06 am (UTC) (Link)
You can try to hold onto the mental picture of a child, but it's a slippery thing. She can feel Lian in her arms from two years ago when Cheshire was taking her away. At the same time, Lian is a baby, looking back at her from her father's arms. Lian is a grown woman with children of her own and a radiant smile. she can hear Lian's voice as it is now, echoing through this place - crying, laughing, signing, asking questions...

And then there are the secret wishes. The ones that wished nothing had happened between she and Roy to split them apart and that Lian could have been her biological child as well - but that would have meant not Terry or Jen. Worse, no Bobby.

She's embarrassed for that one. Ashamed. It all helps feed the damage.

"It seems like everything here is a mix of happiness and pain," she notes.
blackest_bird From: blackest_bird Date: April 25th, 2007 01:12 am (UTC) (Link)
She isn't as uncaring as she sounds, but she does go right for logic before anything else.

"That's life, Donna...balance. You cannot define one without the existence of the other. You must accept both to be truly at peace."

Physically, she frowns, this analogy echoing too closely to her own problems.
middle_amazon From: middle_amazon Date: April 25th, 2007 01:22 am (UTC) (Link)
"It's not a complaint so much as an observation, Raven. I'm grateful for it. For everything."

She looks to her. The backdrop fades a bit. "How do you deal with all the baggage everyone carries?" Yes, she notices the little destresses in life.
blackest_bird From: blackest_bird Date: April 25th, 2007 01:32 am (UTC) (Link)
She turns her head to the side some, pulling back from Donna empathically.

"It isn't the baggage that's the problem."

She so doesn't want to talk about this. No one ever understands and it just frustrates her even more.
middle_amazon From: middle_amazon Date: April 25th, 2007 04:15 am (UTC) (Link)
Bringing up all the desire? All the despair?

It brings up the ugly, too.

Abandoned. Used. Ugly. Convenient.

Good sweet, safe little Wonder Girl...

Raven needs me! FOCUS!

So she picks a point in her memory that will serve them all...

Garth would have been the first to notice, but after tula died, he was a brick wall. Wally was the first one to see it.

Wait...Where's Speedy?

The mission had been one thing after the other - just like her leadership. And Gods, help her, she was trying to keep them together after losing them all three times before. Keep the Titans, who were 4 wrecks and a rookie together. Nothing was together. Not her. Not her and Terry. Not her and Dick. Not the team she assembled or any of the people she grew up with.

More important...Keep her marriage together. She'd left Terry to write and save his job on his own. There would be accusations of abandonment, of unfaithfulness. Words like If you go, don't bother to come back!
jla_extras From: jla_extras Date: April 25th, 2007 04:20 am (UTC) (Link)
The strings are almost too easy to pull on.

Instead of going with any of the obvious, there is a focus on the memory of Garth and his loss. There is a swelling of emotion, almost unnamable as is flows and swamps around. Then, there is a twist at the thought of leaving Terry.

Suddenly it all feels like it is sweeping away, draining all away from her. Not the healthy empty but the hollow and lonley empty.
blackest_bird From: blackest_bird Date: April 25th, 2007 04:30 am (UTC) (Link)
Pain, hurt, loss, lonely, happy, fear, love, lust, ecstasy

She has memories of them from different times of her life, different aspects of herself...things she's done to other people, things done to her.


She twists, trying to get away from this. She's struggled so hard for so long to not be a slave to feeling, but oh, how she's missed it!

...balance...there is a balance! Donna!!
middle_amazon From: middle_amazon Date: April 25th, 2007 04:35 am (UTC) (Link)
She's getting there.

And she just had to be going through this all falling apart with Roy fucking Harper - her first love, her old teammate who ran away wasted or to the arms of some girl...What did it matter? It was always away from her every chance he got.

She hated him.

So why did she seem to live for those little glances? Why did she want to tell him "I'm over it," and every time she tried, her heart would leap into her throat and something else would come up? Why could she lie in bed at the Swiss resort and couldn't picture her husband's face, after hours of trying, and instead retreated into the worst, most guilty, half-formed...feelings...without any thoughts backing them. They weren't all sexual. Not even...mostly. Those carnal thoughts could be dismissed.

And now he was missing. So was Robin - kid Robin. Cheshire was picking them off one by one. Her fault! Old instincts kicked in and she ran back.

"Our child -" The woman is green was ranting. She has a gun on Roy.

Everything in the world paused.
jla_extras From: jla_extras Date: April 25th, 2007 04:39 am (UTC) (Link)
Desire to be with Roy. Desire to be Lian's real mother. Desire to be Lian's adoptive mother. Desire to hurt Cheshire. Desire to be hurt by Cheshire. Desire to run away from this memory and leave it all behind her. Desire to stay here forever, figure out where things went wrong, change things, make everything better.

It's all there, and Donna and Raven can feel it all at once.
middle_amazon From: middle_amazon Date: April 28th, 2007 03:55 am (UTC) (Link)
There's only a small cry as she lets go.

Shuffling through the emotions she gave to Raven wasn't easier.

Jericho making eye contact...jumping in...falling...screaming...
Raven, for heaven sake - I loved you, Raven - and I think you loved me too. You can't kill me, you can't!
No, please don't go! Trigon is coming!
Mother, why did you not kill me?
But I see you are still a weak fool. And I pity you for it. You are my only child which has survived!
But I am to marry you, my sweet little bird, and we are to cleanse the world.
After all, my sweet, you love me as much as I love you. Isn't that right, Koriand'r?
blackest_bird From: blackest_bird Date: May 6th, 2007 04:13 am (UTC) (Link)
Love and guilt. Love and fear. Love and deep suspicion. Love and evil.

nnNNNOOOOooooooo!!! Getout! You'reafoolbutIstillregret...Hearme! CursedmewithlifeforHIMtotouch!! MistakenidiotLEAVEMEALONE! NNnnnooooooMOORRRE!!

She crumples, twitching under the weight of all of her mistakes, all of her machinations, hurts and desires.
middle_amazon From: middle_amazon Date: May 6th, 2007 04:31 am (UTC) (Link)
She's caught - and held.

"No. I won't let go." It's a whisper is a stormy sea. "Not before you let go. We've always loved you. Always forgiven. Please. Do that for yourself now."
blackest_bird From: blackest_bird Date: May 6th, 2007 04:38 am (UTC) (Link)
Thin fingered hands grab and hold as if a flood were threatening to tear her away.

Why does it HURT SO DAMN MUCH?! if I let go, I forget This is what I do to everyone I touch! if I forget, it will happen again
middle_amazon From: middle_amazon Date: May 6th, 2007 04:51 am (UTC) (Link)
The swearing is...startling, but -

"Then don't forget. Forgive yourself. Release your pain the way you do for us."

The voice of experience.
middle_amazon From: middle_amazon Date: May 6th, 2007 06:57 am (UTC) (Link)
Donna smacks her forehead and leaves the hand there covering her face.

"It is and it isn't."

You know that 'you have NO idea,' face, Raven? It's peering back at you, with Donna at a complete loss as to what to say otherwise.
blackest_bird From: blackest_bird Date: May 6th, 2007 06:59 am (UTC) (Link)
She glances sidelong at Donna for a moment, then chuckles softly, reaching out to lay her hand on the hand of her friend.

"I'm not overly concerned about that at the moment."
middle_amazon From: middle_amazon Date: May 6th, 2007 07:08 am (UTC) (Link)
"Good, because my daughter has already had the birds and bees discussion with a Tameranean," she murmurs. "I did not think it could get stranger than that."

She peers out from the hand. "Not that it's a problem, or weird for you not to." Note to self: Teenage boys have a better imagination then even you thought. "I guess if you have questions, I'll try to go easier on you than, say, Kory."
blackest_bird From: blackest_bird Date: May 6th, 2007 01:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Amusement seems to sparkle in her eyes before she shifts and shadows hide them again.

"I thought I'd take the analytical approach with such a situation. It isn't as if this world...this country...suffers from a derth of research material. But with my current social calendar, it isn't as if it is a pressing matter."
middle_amazon From: middle_amazon Date: May 6th, 2007 05:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
"It is sort of a 'whatever works for you,' situation, but finding that out can be a process. Plus, it can and does change on you."

Social calender?

The last and only date she remembers Raven on...Which reminds her...

"New topic? I was going to recruit you in on something."
blackest_bird From: blackest_bird Date: May 6th, 2007 06:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
She grabs ahold of the change of subject as if her life depended upon it.

"Really? What's that?"
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